Scripture Focus: Matthew 14:27-31
“At once Jesus spoke to them, ‘Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.’ Peter said to him in reply, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ He said, ‘Come.’ Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me.’ Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’” — Matthew 14:27-31 (NABRE)
I didn’t send out our weekly Rooted & Resourced email newsletter on Monday, OR post our bible study- and here’s why.
8 days ago, I was teaching one of the most powerful lessons I had ever taught on our Weekly Regulated Roots Training (hosted inside our Regulated Roots Academy community.)
Right as I reached the last point, as I was speaking about how the enemy will try to distract us with darkness and storms…
Our power went out.
We were hit with one of the strongest storms of the last several years, with it getting so dark at 10:30 am that we could barely see in a room filled with windows.
I kept teaching in the dark, praying that my cell service would continue the live I was doing and when I was done, I came upstairs, only to realize that our cell service was too spotty to conduct ANY work with clients.
Since I couldn’t work OR barely see in our main work area, I went up to the cozy oversized chair in our bedroom.
And as I closed my eyes and started to pray, I felt the frustration and confusion bubbling up within me. With tears streaming, I humbly asked God for wisdom…
And I heard, “will you have little faith?”
The Anatomy of a Storm: Little Faith and Double-Mindedness
On my live, I had been teaching on the moment when Peter sees Jesus walking on water, mis-identifies him as a ghost, and asks Jesus to state who he is.
When Jesus then proclaims, “I AM”, Peter follows up by asking to be able to come out of the boat and walk on the waters with Him.
Jesus says “Come”, and Peter boldly and courageously obeys.
But a few moments laster, after taking several steps, he gets distracted by the sights and signs of the windstorm raging around him….and as he takes his eyes off Jesus, he starts to SINK.
Peter suddenly cries out to Jesus to “save him”, and Jesus responds immediately by pulling him back up.
He then lovingly rebukes Peter by saying,
“Oh you of little faith, why do you doubt?”
I dove deep into what the words LITTLE and DOUBT mean in this passage in the training, but to sum them each up in a sentence here:
- "LITTLE" in this instance does not imply small, but short
- "DOUBT" implies “double-mindedness”, aka getting stuck between seeing with your eyes (physical sight), and seeing with your heart (spiritual sight).
In that moment, as I heard Jesus’ correction of Peter gently ringing in my ears, I realized that God was showing me my own “double-mindedness” in the midst of my personal storm.
My own fears that the storm would take me out before I “reached the other side”, and that the wind and the waves were too distracting for me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus.
The Gift of the Clearing: Going Back Through my Storms
I've shared many times recently how God has been calling me back to centering my focus on writing and speaking, and at that moment, it had been quite the trial recently to get myself to write what I knew He was nugding me to say.
I kept finding my writing time swallowed up by the chaos of being a mom, a wife, a business owner, a daughter, a friend, and a volunteer.
My schedule kept changing and scheduling over my writing time, and then when I DID have time, I would get distracted and struggle to put words on the page.
In that moment, I could see so clearly how I was not “fixing my eyes” and confidently walking where God wanted me to go, and as I continued to cry and pray, my husband came upstairs to check on me and asked me to share what I was feeling.
As I told him what had come to me, and how I was struggling with writing what God was placing on my heart, my eyes shifted to the right of where I was sitting...
And I saw the bookshelf in my prayer corner, with 4 of my old Write Planners sitting on the bottom shelf, filled with hundreds of pages of my ideas and learnings from last year alone.
In that moment, I clearly heard the Holy Spirit whisper:
“Go back through your old journals, Lee. You now have time.”
I felt scared. I felt resistant.
And I did it anyways, because I’ve learned that when God tells me to move, I must do so in full, complete, swift obedience.
Over the next 7 days, I spent 40+ hours reviewing 33+ journals that I had written in over the last 10 years.
I ended up writing over SIXTY (!!!) pages, chronicling my journey and adding in reflections, quotes, and prayers/questions for God.
I walked through the journey of the last 7 years:
- Starting to journal in 2019, Thinking my faith was strong & believing in God... but not really knowing or understanding His Word, will, or ways, and living disconnected from Jesus.
- Slowly sinking into new age spirituality, manifestation, feminine/pleasure-based pagan practices in 2020, and unwittingly completely turning away from God, becoming a prideful God to my self.
- Crying out to God for help one day in late 2022, leading to me leave ALL business +personal coaching spaces and beginning my walk “out of Egypt” and into the wilderness.
- Spending all of 2023 and the better part of 2024 allowing God to remove what I’d learned in Egypt from my heart, showing me who He, and His Son, and the Holy Spirit all really were.
- And In 2025, recommitting myself to living “in the world” while not becoming “of the world” again—this time fully surrendered to Christ.
In those pages, I found old blog articles that had never been published, bible studies that I’d never shared, etymological breakdowns of words in the Bible that I’d never taught.
But most importantly, I saw my testimony, and God’s glory, clearly laid out.
I could literally see how God stayed with me the entire time, showing up EVERY time I called on him from the darkness.
I personally understood how and why He "leaves the 99" to chase us each down, bring us home and welcome us back as His adopted children in Christ.
Fixing Your Eyes on Jesus
I finished going through my journals last night at 10pm.
And today, I’m writing this as a clear declaration that I am ready to confidently walk on the water, writing and speaking and teaching as I keep my eyes firmly fixed on Jesus.
Knowing that while my faith may be little at times, I can always cry out to him to save me and expect immediate support (even if it comes in a way I don’t expect nor desire in my flesh).
And that sometimes, God brings a storm to our lives not to punish us, but to remind us that we are not the ones who control the winds and the waves.
We are not the ones who decide how long it takes to row “to the other side” of where we think God is sending us to go.
We are not in control of much of anything.
But the one place we have more control than ANYONE, is the place upon which we choose to fix our eyes, center our focus, and confidently walk.
So I now have 3 questions for you, my friend:
- Where are you choosing to focus + fix your eyes?
- Where are you sinking in distraction and not crying out for immediate help?
- Where are you hearing the small, quiet command to walk boldly and courageously?
I pray that you will call out to Jesus and ask him to guide you in answering these 3 questions today, and every day.
Always Rooting for You, Lee
P.S. In the storm, I lost the last 15 minutes of the training, AND I’m glad I did—because I’m going to be turning it into a 2 part series that includes the original training + diving deeper into what I shared here about what happened afterward.
If you want to tune in, make sure you’ve joined us inside Regulated Roots Academy to walk the full 2-part series, (or subscribed to our podcast to hear the audio version next week!)
