I see this happen with my clients ALL the time.

They’ve reached a level of success where they’re genuinely very good at a lot of things.

They know how to lead.

They know how to solve problems.

They know how to figure things out.

They’ve built careers, businesses, teams, families, ministries, communities.

And then they reach a place where whatever got them HERE is no longer sufficient to get them where they believe God is asking them to go next.

Which presents a particularly uncomfortable problem:

They have to be willing to become a beginner again.

😂

And High Responsibility Humans frequently HATE this part.

Because once you’re accustomed to being competent, there is an enormous temptation to spend your energy protecting the evidence that you are competent.

You want to grow…

AND you want to look like you already know what you’re doing.

You want someone to help you see what you can’t see…

AND you don’t particularly want anyone to see you struggling.

You want to develop…

AND you would strongly prefer to skip the part where development requires you to do something badly for a while.

So you end up straddling the fence.

One leg on the side that says:

Maybe I’m actually perfectly happy with how I’m operating right now.

And the other on the side that says:

But I KNOW there is more growth available here.

And friend…

straddling a fence requires a surprising amount of energy.

😂

Because now you’re trying to maintain two positions at the same time.

You’re trying to preserve your identity as someone who is GOOD at this while simultaneously recognizing that something needs to change.

You’re trying to protect yourself from failure while wanting the fruit that only comes from practice.

You’re trying to avoid looking foolish while learning something you have never done before.

You’re trying to grow without tolerating the discomfort that growth requires.

And eventually?

You exhaust yourself maintaining the position instead of using that capacity to actually develop.

I see two versions of this with clients.

Sometimes someone needs to stay in the harder room.

They have the foundation.

They’re in the right place.

They’re simply operating at a new level where the field is bigger, the expectations are higher, and the adjustments required are subtler.

At that point, the work often involves tolerating the discomfort of being less competent than you’re accustomed to being.

Practicing.

Failing.

Getting feedback.

Trying again.

Looking a little stupid sometimes.

😂

And getting help.

Because something interesting happens as you become increasingly excellent at what you do:

You often need MORE mentorship, not less.

The adjustments become harder to see from inside your own experience.

The difference between good and exceptional may be incredibly subtle.

Someone with greater experience can often see in five minutes what you could spend five months trying to diagnose yourself.

But there’s another situation I see.

Sometimes the struggle is giving you important information:

There is a foundational piece missing.

In that case, continuing to push harder may simply reinforce frustration.

You may need to step back.

Learn something you missed.

Develop a skill.

Change the environment.

Get different support.

Practice at a different level for a while.

And THEN move forward.

Those are two completely different developmental decisions.

And you know what makes it incredibly difficult to tell which one you need?

Trying really hard to look successful while you’re making it.

Because if protecting your competence is the priority, you’re going to have a hard time asking:

What am I actually struggling with?

What don’t I know?

What feedback am I resisting?

Do I need more practice—or am I missing a foundation?

Do I need to persevere—or change my approach?

What kind of help would allow me to see this more clearly?

And ultimately:

God, what are You asking me to develop here?

This is one of the reasons I care so deeply about spiritual gift formation.

Most of the people I work with do not need another person telling them how capable they are.

They KNOW they’re capable.

They have receipts. 😂

What they often need is a place where they can stop spending so much capacity proving it.

Where they can examine the way they’re currently operating.

Where they can discover what has been deeply developed.

What has been diminished.

What has gotten distorted along the way.

Where they need practice.

Where they need support.

Where they need to persevere.

And where God may actually be asking them to stop carrying something entirely.

Because your willingness to tolerate being a beginner again may determine how much further you’re able to develop the gifts God has entrusted to you.

You may fail.

You may misunderstand something.

You may need help.

You may discover you’ve been doing something inefficiently for YEARS.

You may have to practice something that other people seem to already know how to do.

You may even realize you need to back up before you can move forward.

None of that makes you less capable.

It gives you information you can actually USE.

And if you’ve spent this launch standing with one leg on either side of the fence—interested enough to keep reading, curious enough to take the assessment, aware that there is something here you want to explore, while still trying to decide whether you really need support developing it—

I’m going to lovingly ask you to stop spending your capacity straddling the fence.

You can hop to one side and say:

I’m genuinely happy with how I’m stewarding my gifts right now. This isn’t work I need to do in this season.

That’s a perfectly legitimate answer.

Or you can hop to the other side and say:

I’m willing to find out what I don’t know yet.

I’m willing to practice.

I’m willing to get feedback.

I’m willing to make a mess.

I’m willing to discover that something needs more development than I thought.

I’m willing to let God show me where I’m already producing beautiful fruit—and where He’s inviting me to grow.

That’s the side we’re stepping onto tomorrow.

Grow In Your Gifts™ begins Wednesday.

For seven weeks, we’re going to examine all seven gifts, use the SAGE Diagnostic to understand how they’re currently functioning, and practice developing what God has entrusted to us in our actual leadership, relationships, responsibilities, and lives.

You don’t have to show up already excellent at this.

You have to be willing to practice.

​JOIN GROW IN YOUR GIFTS™​

Faithfully rooting for you,

Lee

P.S. If you’re still trying to identify your Primary Motivational Gift, start with the free assessment here: DISCOVER YOUR PRIMARY MOTIVATIONAL GIFT. Then come join us. Knowing gives you information. Development requires being willing to do something with it. 🌱